“for i am forever changing”

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My life is different now (?)

I'm starting my last year of high school in three days. Or four. (I think. I never know how to count days. Do I count today? Do I count the actual day? ...)
What am I going to do this year? Who will be in my classes? (WHEN WILL MY LUNCH BE?)

I need to start thinking about universities. And what I'm actually going to study (-_-")
And I also need to start thinking about money. I need a job! (They always say "You can't start a sentence with "and". WELL I BEG TO DIFFER)
WJ, I applied to Old Firehall today. Your manager said they were fully staffed, pout pout. So sad.
But I saw Mabel, happy happy <3
(YEAH THAT'S RIGHT. I STARTED A SENTENCE WITH "BUT". OOH YEAH)

I've been saying "eh" often. It started in August.
And I've been spelling "yeah" as "yah" and "aw" as "awh".
This is Candy's fault.

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I feel like ever since I decided to stop saying stuff like.. um... well you know what I always used to say. And WJ still says it but uses "sexy" instead. So you know what I'm talking about now, hahaha.
Well anyway, I feel like I've been suppressing myself or something (ew).
It's been really weird and different. There are always situations where I feel like it would be appropriate to stick it in (though I know many people would disagree, heh) but then catch myself and it sort of dies in my throat.

And I feel like even though I've stopped saying stuff like that... the misconception of me is still there. Like nobody can get over it or something.
But, man, you should know, I'm as deep as the Mariana trench. And I realize that that "man" stuck in there is really awkward.
Ok. Revise: But, homedawg, you should know, I'm as deep as the Mariana trench.
Heh.

Oh wait, is that even allowed in my new "way" of speaking? I won't say anything that reflects me in a positive way, gooosshh. So nitpicky.
Re-revise: I'm as deep as anything with average depth.

Heh. Again.

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I've been so worried that I've been a Jane Bennet.
But I think I've made myself clear now. No more Jane. 

And thank goodness there's no meddling Darcy here >:P

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I feel like Jane Bennet. In the worst possible way.
What an emo half-sentence that was, hah.

Waah, am I bipolar or something? Haha... (No!)
Most of the time I'm moping at home, when randomly I think of something funny and burst out laughing (giggling more like..)
And then I'm back to moping.

OR HAVING PRETEND CONVERSATIONS!! :O
I do that a lot.
Ewwww, I'm not a loser!! I'm not the only one who does that right?
Right?

I miss VBS.
Mope. Mope. Mope.

Jane... Bennet.....

Well,
You stir my heart ;)
I'm no longer a Jane Bennet then. Maybe.

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VBS is over...
That's so weird. It has been such a demanding two weeks... But at the same time,
It's been really really fun and actually pretty meaningful for me.
I feel like my life and views are so different now after I've done this.
And also because of VBS I've actually gone to church (twice :O), which has been a really eye-opening experience.
Like, I look back at some of my blog posts from only a month ago and wonder at ho much I've grown.
This whole VBS volunteer thing has turned out to be so much more than I ever anticipated. I never once dreaded the thought of going to camp during those two weeks (which has never happened before in the previous camps).

Also of course I've met awesome people, like my sweet campers (and of course the staff but that's kind of a given). Such cute (and naughty) kids >~<

The weeks immediatly after the two week leadership training from Seneca two years ago, I felt so down and ... melancholy? Lol? I missed it so much after it ended.
I feel like after VBS will be the same, if not worse. It hasn't really hit me yet though.

I enjoyed every moment of this VBS and I'm so glad I got this opportunity. I will neverever forget :)

Btw I've written this whole thing from my phone hahahahahah. Ahem.

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I wanna watch another drama but there's nothing right now that really appeals, I guess.

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Haha what an awful title.

But anyway,
when I was little (like about Grade 1 and below) I was a really bossy little kid. And mean and bad bad bad. I was self-centred and boastful and mostly bossy.
I feel like I must've been such a bad friend.

The thing is, when I was that little, I honestly wasn't aware that how I was acting was wrong.
I didn't think about it.

So when we encounter horrible trouble-making kids, we should realize that they just don't know the difference between right and wrong yet.

RANDOM:
I'm empathetic. Just thought I should say, haha.

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I'm sure many of you will be very very surprised when I tell you... many people regard me as sweet and innocent.

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