drop drop drop

“for i am forever changing”

Chickie Flickies

Tuesday, January 31, 2012 || 2:53 PM

I've always had some notion in my head that chick flicks are stupid.
I don't know why. Maybe it's because they're so predictable and all follow the same basic storyline.
I just never really feel like I really want to watch one whenever one comes out. I enjoy the previews, but not so much as to want to go out and see the actual movie.

The funny thing is, whenever I do end up watching a chick flick... I always love it.

*Random Side Note of the Day*
I'm kind of thinking that my teachers all think I'm annoying.
I can't help but point out every typo or grammatical mistake that shows up on a test or assignment.
Mwahahahahahhaha.

who do you think you are, playing the piano

Tuesday, January 24, 2012 || 8:34 PM

I actually have to resist running back to my piano every time I leave it to get some actual studying done.

How is it that in Grade 7, I could've had too much work to play, and yet now, in my last year of high school with exams nearing, I find myself dedicating so much time to play?

How is it that what meant hours of tedium before could mean so much to me now?

How is it that the recital piece I could never perfect with weeks of practice and a year of experience behind me becomes so simple for me now? How is it that it feels so beautiful to me now?

And how is it
that given three chances at three different points in my life
I still manage to regret my decision every single time?

reading is my life

Monday, January 23, 2012 || 10:29 PM

Yeah; I probably should be studying. But you know what? It's Monday. I've got the rest of my life to study.

So anyway I want to talk about my favourite favourite subject ♥

My favouritest hobby in the whole wide world! ♥
Is reading ♥ of course! Of course of course!

I never understood why so many people hated reading, or didn't bother with it. I've always loved reading.
During kindergarten, I think, I took private phonics lessons. My tutor's name was Andrea! I still remember hahaha. So I guess what I'm saying is that I started to read before other kids.

In elementary school, I remember being assigned into reading groups; consistently being placed in the highest level reading group was an endless source of pride for me. I thought I was better than everyone else because I could read "better" than they could. ♥

In Grade 5, though, for some strange reason I was placed in merely the second highest reading group. Technically, the teacher never told us the levels... but we all knew. Well, that is, except for me. I was so used to being in the highest level group that I stubbornly insisted and argued that Bridge to Terabithia took a higher level of reading comprehension than The Giver.

Authors that I loved during this period of my life include: Louis Sachar, Eric Walters, Kenneth Oppel, Cornelia Funke, and more that I've forgotten :) I also loved reading the Silver Birch and Red Maple books (though admittedly, the Red Maple books seemed to have gotten worse and worse.. but that's just my opinion)
I still would read any book that Louis Sachar publishes now, though.

Then Grade 8 rolls around. Something that I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever understand even if I live to be a thousand, is how I ever could have possibly landed myself in the second to lowest reading group. My teacher was obviously a lunatic. >:(
Perhaps this was what drove me then to choose to read Frankenstein for my independent study. And later on that same year, 1984. These books I think were wasted on me. In my eagerness to redeem myself (and patch up my pride), I completely overestimated myself. I heaved through Frankenstein with so much difficulty; it was seriously the most boring book I'd ever read. 1984 was even worse for me. Yeah, it was a bit easier to understand than Frankenstein (as its language was more modern), but the themes were also much too complex for my tiny eighth grade mind to absorb; on top of that, it was another ISU.
Sometime in my life, I will make it a point to reread these books.

It was also around this time (Grade 8 year) that I started my "I must be well-read" phase in life. Since reading was (and still is) such a point of pride for me, I'd felt as if I needed to read all classic/famous literature there was. Then, when people asked (which they never did... sad face) if I'd read [insert famous book here], I could answer with a yes. Anyway, I suppose I just wanted to be impressive.
I think the first book I started with was Pride and Prejudice (such follower I was). This was a struggle for my Grade 8 self; I kept a dictionary with me while I read this book and of course, I still didn't really understand everything that was happening... so this "frontrunner of all romantic prose" fell rather short with me. (Oh how proud I am to say that I've read this book twice since then and that I do really like it ♥) Even after this experience with Pride and Prejudice, I just had to go on and read Sense and Sensibility. Honestly, though, that book was an even worse experience for me.
Well anyway, I believe it was then that I started to read Sherlock Holmes. This should be Grade 9. Now, Sherlock Holmes, written almost a century after Jane Austen's works, I could take. In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the Sherlock Holmes stories and was soooo devastated when he "died".

So my um "well-read" phase has not entirely passed. Haha, but it has sort of died down a little bit. But I'm still really proud when it comes to reading. I'm too proud to browse the teen section anymore. And honestly, even though the climax of my "well-read" phase was really sort of superficial, I am proud of it. I have read many many famous books! >:D

I'm sure everyone wants to know my favourite books. There's no sarcasm there, boys and girls, honest!
Anyway
I really like The Hunger Games of course... The Name of the Wind, Jane Eyre ♥, Eragon,
Honourable Mentions: Chicken Soup series, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Holes ♥

And the king of them all, the book that holds the deepest spot in my heart of course belongs to Harry Potter. There is no doubt :)
The depth of the story combined with the absolute beauty [AND HUMOUR AND WITTINESS AND ELEGANCE AND CLEVERNESS AND OH MY GOSH I COULD DIE] of Joanne's (YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, I'm calling her by her first name because because because I ... love her :')) writing style that is so uniquely hers... is enough to capture anybody's heart.
I feel like every time I read the books, I learn something new. Not only in terms of the story... but in terms of language. I love Harry Potter so much so that I cannot even begin to describe - oh my goodness, excuse me, I seem to be tearing up. Ahem.

But what I'm trying to say is..
Reading is my life.

Yes, ok I do realize I'm a bit nerdy in this aspect.

This has been a thoroughly boring post. No wonder everyone hates reading.

where's my lip balm gone?

Saturday, January 21, 2012 || 4:56 PM

I licked my lips.
(Yeah, don't pretend like you don't.)
They're bitter today.

so what am i good for

Friday, January 20, 2012 || 9:51 PM

A really depressing and somewhat self-deteriorating thought sort of spontaneously jumped into my head this morning.

I mean, well, I guess it's always been there and I've thought about it before... but like it's bothering me now.

What am I good at?

Kay, sure, I'm good at stuff. But

What do I excel in?

... okay I do excel at some things, I'm not going to be falsely modest here. (I'm never going to be falsely modest anywhere, actually.) But I don't have a talent.

I can become so envious of other people's talents :(

And so concludes the start of Elizabeth's inferiority complex.

* On a side note: I really hate when I say, "Oh, I'm actually sort of good at ____," and others feel like its their personal duty or something to try to prove me wrong. Seriously? What's wrong with you. The same goes for when I say something like, "I got [insert good mark here] on my test," or, "I did really well in ___ course," and others try to find an "alternate explanation" for why I did well (i.e. Oh, well what was the average in that class? ; Oh, well I guess your teacher was really easy. ; Well that isn't exactly hard, is it?). Why are you trying to belittle my accomplishments? OR when I say, "I/my friend can do [insert action here]; it's really cool!" and then the other person tries to brush it off with, "So? I can do that." Like it's okay if you're just sharing (i.e. Oh really? I can do that too!) but just sometimes, people's attitude... like seriously - respect, go get some.

Obviously, when people are bragging that's different. But I'm not talking about bragging.

Instead, let's try this: when somebody is happy from accomplishing something they found difficult, share their happiness. Don't try to shove them back down and ruin their high. That's a real insolent thing to do. Would it kill you to let someone feel good about him/herself? *

cheery cheery

|| 9:37 PM

After an entire day of pleasing people and keeping up that bright smile, I go home and crash.

I think that's when the more negative parts of my mind begin to come out.

I feel like I'm really needy and selfish.

I'm irritable and unkind.

Impatient and short-tempered.

Greedy.

You won't ever see these parts of me.

I may jokingly show some of these characteristics..

But if you honestly ask people that know me, I doubt that they'd describe me as such. Or well, that's what I'd like to think. (I think I'm right, though ;))

I do have these adverse characteristics/emotions, though, especially when I'm at home. Especially when my parents are home.

Otherwise, nobody really sees these in me. And this is not because I'm "hiding" myself or "pretending" to be someone I'm not or something.

It's just that I know these are negative characteristics - characteristics of a bad person.

I am not a bad person, therefore I choose to never display these characteristics outwardly.

I think basically everyone has varying degrees of negativity inside themselves. It's just whether or not we choose to express them is what makes us who we are.

Notice I said varying degrees.

But my main point is,

Honestly, I'm just craving a little attention.

I'd like to be spoiled a bit too sometimes.

me me me

Wednesday, January 4, 2012 || 11:13 PM

I think maybe, I put too much thought into myself and my own feelings sometimes.
As to what is best for me, or what I'd like or expect.
And I don't realize or see so many of my own flaws. << epiphany right there, yo

I will try to start to identify my own shortcomings. And correct them.
I can start to think with a little more understanding towards other people.

That can be one of my new year's resolutions : )

Inner Elizabeth

Tuesday, January 3, 2012 || 11:01 PM

I feel like when I write here, the "inner" Elizabeth shows through more. Inner Elizabeth is like... Inner Sakura or the animated Lizzie from Lizzie McGuire (LOL) but Elizabeth's... haha like the voice at the back of my thoughts. Like my ALTER EGO whoa.

This Inner Elizabeth doesn't really care what you think. And she's terribly blunt and rude. She snaps at people and swears a lot. And is kind of angry.

I don't like to show Inner Elizabeth, for obvious reasons. But she dominates when I'm alone and reflecting. This is the reason that I may start to seethe by myself all of a sudden about something that really has no relation to whatever I am doing at that moment.

But Inner Elizabeth and The Elizabeth both will melt to sweet songs :)
Like the ones on the CD Eliza's dad burned for me !
Thanks Eliza's Dad!

bookies

|| 10:39 PM

I guess a lot of people (or just Elena maybe) know that I never lend my favourite books to anyone. I'll admit readily that this is out of pure selfishness... or gu hong ness. The reason being - this may be difficult to understand - but I do find happiness in my books. In accordance with this, I never want to share my favourites; I want to keep my own happiness just for myself.

So what does it mean when I give you one of my favourite books to read?

;)

emo girlo!

|| 10:36 PM

As of late, I don't think I've been quite myself.
Or, I'm not exactly as happy as I used to be.
I didn't used to cry a lot. (OH MY GOODNESS YOU EMO GIRLO!)
WAIT A MOMENT. I am not emo and I'm not implying that I'm crying.
Just that maybe there is more negativity in my head right now and that makes it sort of easier than normal to bring me to tears.

There's a lot of self-doubt, I think.
Well actually, being the worrier that I am, it's kind of always been there. Usually, though, it stays in a corner.
There's also just a lot of doubt in general.
It seems I need to compare myself to others all the time.
And I feel like I'm missing something.

If you don't mind, I'd like to bump myself up here a bit hahaha. (I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! "Elizabeth is so arrogant already though..." LOL QUIET!)

My EQ is higher than yours
When I say that I am right and you are wrong, I am most definitely right
I know the difference between "Person A and I" and "Person A and me"
I understand the nitty gritty stuffs of grammar and punctuation. AND I LEARNED IT MYSELF BY READING BOOKS YO

I hate it when people just skim through my super long emails. Or messages. Or anything that I write for that matter, including this blog post.

im so funny

|| 7:58 PM

I love to laugh
Loud and long and clear!
I love to laugh
It's getting worse ev'ry year!

The more I laugh
The more I fill with glee.
And the more the glee
The more I'm a merrier me!
The more I'm a merrier me!

Ahahahahahahhahaha