“for i am forever changing”
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where oh where has my facebook gone?
Thursday, February 9, 2012 || 9:34 PM
I think most people have finally noticed that my Facebook is gone.
And of course, the question that follows is: "Why?"
Now everyone seems to have jumped to conclusions and, satisfied with their own answers, have lost interest in actually listening to mine.
Though, admittedly, I wouldn't know how to explain, if asked.
I'm sure it came as a surprise to many people, the disappearance of my Facebook. I mean... I'm such a Facebook freak (ahahahaha). I spent so much time on Facebook...
I know this sounds really
retarded [insert word equivalent to naive + weird] but Facebook reveals a lot about who we are: how we present ourselves to people we can't see. I guess I was just getting too caught up in all that.
I don't know how many people noticed, but in the days leading up to the Deactivation [so epic], I changed a lot about my Facebook. And each change that I made was preceded by a horrible mood.
I first changed my profile picture to one of my cousin and me, from a while back.
This was [um] a relatively major [um] change for me... [um x3]. Actually, since I wouldn't change my profile picture that often, every time I changed it, technically, was a big deal [LOL Facebook obsessed]. But particularly this one, because the "image" I was trying to portray was different this time. All the other pictures (or most anyway) I was trying to look pretty [um x4], obviously. I was trying to let everyone see how pretty I could make myself.
I thought about this... and I decided that this wasn't the sort of image I wanted.
Maybe I didn't want to seem pretty anymore. Where did the joy of seeming pretty to everyone else ever even come from.
About a week later, I think, I restricted everything that I could on my profile. I turned everything "private". Still, though, there were things that I wasn't satisfied with. So I deactivated my entire Facebook account. The whole thing was kind of spontaneous, actually [>:D]
I just wanted to get away from it all. Knowing so much about everybody else... how does that help me? Obsessing over other people's lives and being envious really did nothing for me.
What happens on Facebook is no longer a factor to my happiness.
Without Facebook,
I can no longer compare myself to other people;
I can no longer feel inferior to other people;
I can no longer see things that I do not want to see.
See, the problem really wasn't Facebook.
It was only me.
I don't have Facebook;
and nothing's changed.
