“for i am forever changing”
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welcome to the real world
Saturday, September 14, 2013 || 10:31 PM
First week of second year done! How do I feel? Pretty much the same as I have all week: Super stressed and close to tears. That's not to say a
few lot haven't spilled already.
I didn't anticipate this. I thought that perhaps I'd feel homesick again this year, like I did awfully last year. Praise God that didn't happen, though, because homesickness is quite possibly one of the worst afflictions I've ever had to endure. Not to be dramatic or anything. Anyway, I didn't anticipate feeling stressed at all.
It's living off campus that's really done it. Cooking and purchasing groceries, and allotting time for it... I feel like there's no time, not enough time. And then the money! Now when I purchase things, I'm paying for everything myself. I'm not about to go broke anytime soon, but I guess I've just never had to consistently spend money like I am now. When I lived at home, I spent money for little things, like a Starbucks or a cute, new sweater. And even those I didn't purchase often. My meals and everything else were covered. Now, buying groceries and kitchen supplies, cleaning supplies, home stuff.. Every necessary living expense I pay for, besides rent. And I'm just not used to spending so much so consistently. I feel bad buying a coffee now, and I feel guilty eating out. I can no longer bring myself to buy things I don't absolutely need.
In reality, I have enough money and I know that. Perhaps I just don't want to see my bank account go under a certain number because it hasn't been there in a while. My father asked me today if I'd like him to transfer money into my account from my RESPs, set aside for living expenses. But I feel like that's not going to help, getting more money. It's the spending that's killing me.
Living alone, I (once again) realize how sheltered I have been.
This is life, Welcome.
