“for i am forever changing”
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to live in the moment
Monday, February 10, 2014 || 11:04 PM
You wouldn't start a relationship with another person knowing from the beginning that it would never work out, right?
As I'm studying, my phone rings and dings.
It's my friends! I laugh and I'm happy.
I'm so blessed and so so thankful to know such wonderful people.
Smiling, I return to my studies.
Frowning, it occurs to me, not for the first time, that so many of my friends are not from Toronto
not from Ontario
not from Canada.
After our four years are done-
I don't like to think about it.
"YOU WERE SAD? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALWAYS HAPPY I DON'T BELIEVE YOU"
Wednesday, February 5, 2014 || 11:13 PM
I've had a thought
Or, well, for a long time I've thought this thought
I think the people who laugh the loudest, for whom smiles come the easiest, and who project the most happiness
are at the same time
the people who cry the most often and most easily.
The common conclusion, one we'd arrive to if analyzing this in high school, therefore, is that these laughy smiley people are actually frowning crying people and that their outward appearance is just a mask they project, the person they want to be and want others to see.
But I don't think that's right. I don't think these people are especially sad people.
I think these people are simply emotional. They feel and experience a wide range of emotions. Their smiles may come easy and often, but I think the same goes for their tears. I think it's important to remember the decibel at which someone's laugh may measure may not necessarily correlate with their measure of happiness. It's the level of expression.
Especially when looking at these unfailingly happy people, it's kind of hard to tell.
The reason I find this important to say is just because I find when people encounter happy-go-lucky people, they, for some reason, think they're just really happy all the time.
But I would like to remind all
that the people you think are impervious to sadness
because of the cheery smiles present on their faces every time you see them
are also the people that cry the most easily and most often.
The people most overcome with happiness
are the people most overcome with sadness too.
I really don't think I'm wrong.
frek aut
Monday, February 3, 2014 || 12:34 AM
How traumatic
I forgot my wallet at home.
My dad is bringing it down for me tomorrow after work. Thank God I chose U of T and not McGill.
I'd spent the last five hours or so worrying and stressing, because my parents hadn't confirmed whether or not they were bringing it down for me tonight or tomorrow or if they would. I spent the last five hours dreaming up scenarios where I needed my wallet and didn't have it. And boy, after living through all those "experiences" I've gained a heightened appreciation of the security of having it.
Thank you, parents.
Ivy tells me that apparently whatever I do at the start of the [Chinese] New Year affects me for the rest of the year to come. So I guess the year of the horse is gonna be the year of the forgetting-to-take-my-wallet-with-me for me as well.
